Send In the Clones

A while back, I remember everyone having hissy fits about Dolly (I think that was her name) the sheep, because she was a clone. People were up in arms thinking that the human counter part to cloning sheep could not be too far away.

I can't help thinking, why is this a BAD idea? Really, do you have any idea how much more I could get done if there were two of me? I currently work full time as an Art Director (which is a pompous way of saying I'm a designer who has lots of responsibilities, supervises people, and if things go wrong it gives them someone to blame). I'm also a freelance graphic designer on the side, and now I've gotten into blogging. In my current "real" job, I work on a deadline, so I am completely stressed out for an entire week. Overtime can be anywhere from 8 hours that week, to nearly 40. (I don't get paid overtime, I'm supposed to get comp time. Yea right.) Every time deadline rolls around, I vow that I am NOT going to put that many hours in again! I type stuff like, "Your lack of planning and timing does not constitute an emergency on my part." in my facebook status. Probably because I want to vent, (but can't at work), or maybe because I want people to feel sorry for me, which they should.(As a rule,  I do not "friend" any of my co-workers.) Sales reps will call me at home...at night, during supper or as I'm putting my kids to bed. They have to be the most selfish people in the world. But I'm a wimp, or have an amazing work ethic (whichever) and always manage to meet deadline, even if it means I'm drinking coffee at 11:30 at night so I can finish 20 more ads before 1AM.

I get up at 5AM every morning. I wish I could only explain how this is so very opposite of every fiber of my being. It's not to work out, which it should be, it's just to make sure that I have time to get myself ready before I have to get everyone else up and out the door. Kaiden's school bus leaves at 7:17AM. (Not 7:15 or 7:30...7:17.) I have found out that if we are not in the car before 7:06, there is no way we'll make it. I don't mean I stand at the boys' bedroom door, flick on the light, say, "Good morning! Time to get up!" and walk away to enjoy my cup of coffee. No way. My oldest could sleep through a freight training zooming by his bed. I have to grab his clothes for the day, rip the blankets off of him, and dress him like a limp rag doll. Seriously. I know this is probably some sort of enabling thing that will haunt me later, but I have found that it is just WAY easier and a lot faster for me to do. Once he is dressed, I drag him out to the living room couch and repeat the process with the youngest. Then the hubby finally gets up. He's able to have HIS coffee. I throw a frozen waffle in the toaster for the youngest (since that is what he has EVERY day) and try to extract what the oldest wants to eat while he sits there in a stupor.

I am responsible for picking up the kids from daycare 90% of the time. Which is why I have to work from home a lot. After that, there is supper (which during deadline is pretty much whatever I can slap together in 5 minutes), homework (and you'd be amazed at the amount of homework a first grader has!), bath and the regular bedtime struggle all before 8:30 at night.

I suffer from a lot of guilt since I feel like my face is buried in my computer way too often. I usually try to multi-task. So while helping my first grader with his math, I'm also trying to change an expiration date on an ad, or I'm going through corrections in my email needed for a freelance job. I used to work exclusively in my downstairs office. That was good and bad. Down there I could hear all the stomping around, sometimes yelling, and noises where I thought they were going to come through the ceiling. I was able to get most things done somewhat without interruptions, but now that I have a laptop upstairs, I have become way too available. It's hard to keep track of billable hours that way. Also when I would emerge from my cave, usually late at night after everyone was asleep, I would come upstairs to find the house totally trashed. That is the worst feeling. When all you want to do is drag your butt to bed and you see that the left overs from supper need to be put away, or the puddle from bath time needs to be cleaned up.

Where is my husband in all this? Well, he'll help me out...but only if I give specific directions. I'm tired of having to tell everyone what to do and when, usually 3 times over, in order for it to be done. Initiative people! I know that I am responsible for this. I've been told that I just need to be more assertive with them. But where does reminding cross the line to nagging? I don't want to be that wife or mother. But I hate having to be the drill Sargent all the time too. It's wearing. And at some point, I think I just resigned myself to the fact that if I want it done and done right, I'll just have to do it myself. I've often thought that I should start a journal exclusively for my hubby. You know the one. It should be titled, "If anything happens to me..." and it would be loaded on all those little things I do that he may or may not know how to do, because, to be honest, I'm not sure he'd be able to handle it by himself. (I'm sure he'd adapt, but the journal would save him a few years.)

On top of all of this, throw in the occasional birthday party, doctor/dentist appointments, calls from school or daycare to pick up a sick child, being sick myself, and random necessary errands. How do people fit that all in? I see moms who have 3+ kids and it seems to be a breeze for them. Someone give me a handbook, please!

So clone me! I would have someone to work my 40+ hours a week, while I stay home and finally shovel the dust off my ceiling fan, pay bills, and update my insurance. Or I could have a night out with the girls (the ones who haven't totally given up on me, since I seem to have no time to go out). I would get my son to his baseball game on time AND have groceries bought and put away AND gas in my car that's running on fumes. My husband would probably be happier as well, since right now, I'm usually too tired to enjoy any alone time with him...not to mention he's usually in bed by 9:00. I would be able to be both nurturing, attentive and productive. I could actually read that novel a friend lent to me 6 months ago. I could go for a walk, go to a movie, have a garage sale, or volunteer when they need a chaperon for my son's field trip.

I really do try to fit everything in. I do read to my sons before they go to bed. I make special suppers for them when I can. I try to run my errands over my lunch hour, so that my time can be spent with the ones who mean so much to me. I try to have meaningful conversations with my children (even if it has to be in the car on the way home). I go to every game, event, party that they need me at, and rearrange my schedule just to do so. I even think we might go rollerskating next Sunday...but we might have to skip church to do it.