Opposites Are Attractive

I look at my boys and wonder how they possibly came from the same womb...um mine AND the same father (just to clarify.) One set of genes for one, and the next time, let's just use what we didn't last time. They are salt and pepper, ebony and ivory, honey and vinegar. Complete opposites.

Kaiden was born two weeks premature on the 26th of May. My first child, he seemed so incredibly tiny, at just a little over 5 lbs. He was kind of a strange color, with big hands and feet with just a shock of black hair. He was beautiful to me.

Those are his daddy's hands.

My parents drove the 5 1/2 hours to be there when he was born. He was their first grandchild and my mom had been waiting (not so patiently) to be a 'grammie.' She was also the first to laugh at me when I brought him home and changed his diaper, getting baby poop all over me and him. He was a demanding little guy, up nearly every two hours, needing me almost as much as I needed sleep. He was colicky. We rocked, we walked, we ran the vacuum and turn the radio on for white noise.  Nothing worked. Frazzled and sleep deprived (and haven't ever regained those lost hours), we finally cleared that stage.

With Kamrin, my water didn't really break, more like started leaking, exactly on his due date. I was in labor forever, and nothing was happening. To save you the details, the doctor broke my water and Kamrin and the umbilical cord decided to make a race for the exit at the same time. Suddenly, everything was a bad scene from "ER". Shawn is bewildered, and I'm telling him to call my mom. The gurney is being raced down hallways where an emergency C-section can be performed. I remember looking at the anesthesiologist as the bright fluorescent lights flashed, woosh, woosh, behind his head. He must have seen the panic in my eyes because he kept telling me everything was going to be okay.  I can't tell you how exactly aligned the stars must have been for us that day, the fact the doctor checked on me when he did, that I had already had an epidural, and the operating room had been cleared only minutes before it all happened. I didn't get to see Kamrin for over 5 hours. He was in the neo-natal care for monitoring. My heart ached. I longed to hold him, see him. A sweet nurse took pity on me and took a picture with her phone and brought it to me. She nearly had to pry it from my hands. It was the 25th of August.

(Blue=Kaiden and Red=Kamrin)

Was always the talker. From coos and baby giggles to "dada," "mama," and later, "no." To this day, you barely get a word in edgewise. I was able to put him in one spot, and he'd be content to sit and play with the toys within his reach.

Was too busy figuring out how to get around to bother with talking. That kid was never happy to be left where he was, and at an early age, started exploring his surroundings with gusto. He was a climber, not interested in toys so much, but more into electrical sockets, light switches and anything with buttons.

As their personalities mature, the differences become more and more obvious.

Introverted, shy, and a bit apprehensive. He is the ultimate in sensitivity, a harsh look will cause him to flee, crying to his room. I've often heard, "everyone is mean to me," when I know very well that he is giving what he's getting.

A social butterfly, I have to curb his enthusiasm for meeting new people (strangers), or petting stray dogs. He never just "walks" anywhere, he bobs, jumps, skips, or does a little 4-year-old jig. He continuously hums or sings no matter what he is doing. He hugs all the other kids when I drop him off at daycare, and they greet him with enthusiastic "Little Man!" chants. 

Loves cars, action figures, dinosaurs and crashing things.

Would rather have paints, crayons, music and stuffed animals.

If anything needs to be split between the boys, he scrutinizes each piece from every angle, top and bottom, before claiming the largest or "best" piece his. Last Saturday, he was invited to a birthday party at the skating rink. He sat among his little "prizes" and as I struggled to get his skates off, he begged for just one more dollar, "to get Kamrin something." I thought that was sweet that he would want to be so nice to his brother, so I caved and gave him one. He blushes a bit as he puts the dollar on the concession stand and bought a monster cookie for 75 cents. He held it in the cellophane paper and carefully carried it to the car. Five minutes later, the face I saw in the rearview mirror had cookie crumbs around his mouth and a ball of cellophane in his lap. "I thought that was for Kam?" "I forgot." We got home, and he promptly deposited the remaining quarter into his own piggy bank!

Always gets 2 stickers from the doctor or 2 prizes from the dentist's prize box and actually DOES give it to his brother. He is quick to share, not just with Kaiden but with everyone within arm's length. It took a lot of convincing to get him to leave his Halloween candy at home and not to share it at daycare. He's quick to hug, snuggle and kiss, loves to be held and pushes his way into every available lap.

Is always hot.

Is always cold.

Eats his food and whatever Kamrin will give him (which is usually whatever he wants.)

Eats like a bird...several times a day.

Does not want to expend his energy getting himself dressed, and has told me it is MY job to do that, along with remember everything that needs to be put in his backpack for school. Needs constant positive feedback on any accomplishment no matter how minor.

Will create a ladder out of Legos if he has to, to pick out his own clothes and put them on himself. IF I try to help him, he constantly tells me, "My do it, my do it!"

Is able to empathise with others, often being moved to tears during a sad movie.

Will comfort you if you are obviously sad, but is more interested in if a story contains, "blood."

Thick dark hair.

Lighter, baby-fine hair.

Looks exactly like his dad.

We had no idea where his features came from until a cousin of my mother's posted a young photo of my mom's deceased brother, Fred.

Uncle Fred on the left. Uncanny.

He likes milk.

Wants Kool-Aid or soda.

Hamburgers and fries.

Spaghetti, hands down.

Sports.

Could care less.

Books.

Future video game addict.

Roughly shaken into consciousness, is usually in a good mood, interacts with those around him, and doesn't put up too much of a fight at bedtime.

Complete night owl. Never quite awake in the morning. Needs a blanket in the car. Refuses to go to bed before 10 at which point I must relinquish half of my bed space to him, where he will blow air through his lips, twirl my hair, pull the covers over his head and tell you "night" over and over again. I have to ignore him, it's the only way he will give up.

Both can not contain their laughter when you even pretend you're going to say the word, "fart." Neither has any clue what an "indoor voice" is. They may complain that they don't have this, or they don't have that, but both know the importance of family, love and look forward to movies on family night.

From way back when.

And now. (Note the kool-aid moustache) And blurry because they don't sit still!

Yep, complete opposites. I have the best of both worlds. What more could I ask for?

My Made Up Diet (I Mean Life-Style) Change

Being unemployed, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to change my eating habits for the better. I would now have time to cook AND workout if I timed everything correctly. I wasn't too happy with the image that was staring back at me from the mirror recently, and I needed to drop a few pounds, so I decided to diet change my eating habits.

I didn't necessarily want to stick to any plan, count points or calories, that's just WAY too much work for me. I somehow convinced myself that I would eat more fresh foods and supplement it with a breakfast and lunch shake. Which now, really doesn't seem like a good idea, since I'm somewhat lactose intolerant. (Can a person be only somewhat intolerant?) Anyway...I bought carrots, lettuce, zucchini, cucumbers, green beans and corn for vegetables and for fruit I chose red grapes, apples (with fat-free caramel to ease any cravings for sweets. It was, after-all, fat-free. Right?), a couple of big grapefruit-like things called pamelos, and oranges. Oh, and about 10 cups of various flavored yogurts. I spent $150 (which includes some other items) and a day later my family complained that there "was NOTHING to eat!"

Pamelo goodness (and acid)

My master plan was to have a breakfast shake in the morning and a shake at lunch, snack on fruit and vegetables throughout the day, and cook up some chicken dishes for supper. I would get back on my Wii Fit program in the morning, so that I would boost my metabolism (which has been in hibernation since August). It was all good...in theory.

I woke up on Monday, psyched up and ready to get the party started. I got my kids ready and out the door, dropped them off where they needed to be and raced home to have my breakfast shake...after my coffee...aaannd after I check my email, facebook page, studio thirty and job openings. Around 10AM (and 3 cups of coffee later) I was getting a little hungry, so decided to mix up the shake. It didn't taste horrible and I managed to chug down the 8 ounces of chocolaty-dairy goodness. One down.

Next I blew the dust off of my Wii Board and steeled myself for the inevitable. Our family of Mii's (the little cartoon versions of yourself) came running out on the screen. For some reason, we were all now African-Americans with weird hairstyles and facial expressions. Apparently, Kamrin had been playing around again. (I wonder if I need to look this up in a child psychology book?) Oh well, so be it. My first slap in the face was the announcement that it had been 187 days since my last workout. 187 days?! Really? It's been that long? Crap. Then the bouncing little board icon wants to know how heavy my clothes are. I put heavy, -4 lbs. - (HEY! I was wearing jeans and really thick socks for Pete's sake!) Then the weigh-in. I actually closed one of my eyes and looked out through the other as my Twiggy-thin Mii got bigger and bigger. Then I hear the "wah wah wah" (like you guessed the wrong price on the Price Is Right), "that's over-weight," the incredibly annoying child-like voice says. (Why do they make it sound like some sort of 5-year-old female child Japanese cartoon? So you don't haul off and punch it in the face?) My Wii Fit Age was 47. Urgh! Longer story short, I had to reset all my repetitions back down to beginner level and did a bit of yoga, a bit of strength training and a lot of aerobics.

By this time, the breakfast shake had nearly tripled in size in my stomach. I didn't even feel like having grapefruit. By the time I was actually hungry again, it was time for shake #2. After slurping down that concoction, I began to notice eerie half-wolf howl, half-baby screaming noises coming from my abdomen. Uh oh. It was NOT happy. I tried to calm the beast by eating some grapes and snacking on some carrots. I believe this just forced everything in my stomach a bit lower and it was now trying to escape. The story takes a terrible turn for the worse as my insides were rejecting this whole new escapade. It decided to leave...in the form of gas. (Too much info, I know!) My kids thought it was hilarious and even the dogs were impressed. My husband? Not so much. But I was determined!! I was going to stick with it.

Day 2. A nearly exact repeat of day 1, except that my Wii told me I had lost .2 lbs! .2? What the...I paused the game, used the bathroom, took off my socks and re-weighed myself and... - .7 lbs! Now that was more like it! My Wii age was 36! Woohoo, turning back the hands of time! My left calf was a bit sore though. More shakes, more fruits and vegetables, more gas. I may never be able to leave the house again. But I'm going to give it my best shot. Maybe I'll have just a tiny handful of crackers. Absorb some acid in my stomach. Yeeaaah, that's it.

Day 3. All the fruit I had eaten in the last few days had given me a raging case of heartburn. I think I'll skip breakfast shake and quit tormenting my husband. Back on the Wii. Weight was up again, and spirits down, my calves burned (even when I wasn't exercising) and I nearly tumbled down the stairs under the weight of a laundry basket when one almost gave out. But hey, my Wii Fit Age was 27! (insert daydreams of being 27 again here, then shake head and come back to reality).

Day 4. Can barely walk my calves hurt so bad. Glare at the Wii and skip it because my body needs time to recover. Skip the shake and dunk a Fudge Stripe cookie in my coffee. *sigh* I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe. Thanks for visiting will power. Come again soon!

United We Sand

I'm going to take a quick aside from my normal ramblings about my family and give you a small peek at the community at large that I call home.

So far this winter, we have received over 66" of snow, and contrary to the ground hog's prediction, I'm assuming there will be more snow into the month of March.  We also are on the brink of flood season here. While the powers that be argue back and forth about where to build a permanent dike and who's going to pay for it, the people of Fargo must sandbag to protect their homes. Every Spring. Like clockwork.

Fargo and Moorhead, separated by the Red River (2010)

We live on the mighty Red River, Fargo on one side and Moorhead, Minnesota on the other. It's one of the few rivers that flow North. I personally don't consider it a nice river, and by nice I mean you can't swim in it. It's muddy, rapid and there's been body's found in it. Picky, picky. I know.

Anyway, the sandbagging is starting early this year due to major flood predictions being more of a possibility than originally thought. The sandbagging process is nothing less than awesome. To give you an idea of what needs to be accomplished in a very short time, they are setting a goal of 3 MILLION sandbags to be filled.

Not even close to 3,000,000

I have a hard time wrapping my head around that number. The logistics in filling, storing and transporting these sandbags are enormous. I'll try to explain it in my own layman's terms.

You must find a place where these sandbags can be filled, housed and hold all the volunteers (and YES I said, VOLUNTEERS!) It used to be in the Fargodome, but post-cleanup costs became too extravagant. We now have a different location dubbed, "Sandbag Central."

Sandbag Central

I must pause here and say that most of the volunteers are high school and college students. Without them, the cities would have been sunk. They consist of athletes, students and staff who trade their vacation time and weekends in for a shovel and back breaking work for hours at a time. Not only at Sandbag Central, but also at homeowner's properties, filling and stacking in snow, sometimes freezing rain and cold. (Blizzard+Flood= "Flizzard Fighters). They don't know the owners, they just know they need help. But volunteers of ALL ages showed up. It's a good life lesson to teach your kid.

City officials turn main thoroughfares into one-way streets for transporting the sandbags. These caravans of flatbed trailers are lead by squad cars with their sirens on to assure fast delivery, because in this situation, every second counts. Literally. Lines of volunteers stream in to Sandbag Central, and are promptly loaded on to buses to take them where the need is the greatest.

There is a system in place for actually placing sandbags. Two long lines are formed, with people facing one another and the bags are thrown back and forth in a zig-zag motion as it goes down the line. Certain bags have obtained nick-names, "boulders" were sandbags filled with a large chunk of frozen sand, "babies" were sandbags that needed to be handled gently due to a loose tie or just had very little sand in it. Uncommon friendships are made. Old and young alike, working for the same cause. If one person tired, there was someone to take their place while they took a break, recouped and rejoined the line. It's a dirty job. Clothing consists of several layers, heavy-duty gloves, waterproof boots, and anything else that will keep you warm. Fashion flew out the window, it's all about warmth people!

Beyond the actual physical work, volunteers helped in so many other ways. There were call centers used to direct the volunteers to each neighborhood, and keep track of how many were there, how long they were there and to answer any questions Joe Blow would have regarding the flood. Large ambulance-like vehicles would roll up to each area loaded with donated cases of water, sandwiches, chips and cookies. It was not unusual for moms to show up with their kids, dragging a wagon behind them up to its wheel in snow, full of BBQ sandwiches they made themselves at home...to feed 50 or more people. You never saw bigger smiles. I don't know who was happier, the hungry volunteers, or the children who at last found a way to be a part of the "movement" by handing food and drinks out. Local pizza joints and diners, would send 100s of pizzas and burgers to satisfy the famished mobs. Hardware stores donated necessary tools. A local AM station would be on 24/7 broadcasting call-in needs of the public. If a person needed an extra sump pump, they'd get it within the hour, usually from someone who had an extra and drove around all the flooded streets to get it to them. Boat owners gathered life jackets and rescued residents and their pets from homes that had become surrounded by ice-filled waters.

People opened their homes to displaced pets of families who had lost the fight and had to stay in a hotel where animals weren't allowed.

It constantly amazes me how a community can pull together in the face of adversity, regardless of race, age, sex, or physical ability and protect a city...even when the government can't pull their heads out long enough to make a decision to avoid millions of dollars in damage, cleanup and lost business the following year. Because it HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. This will be at least the 3rd consecutive year it's happened here. So, every time I gripe and complain during the winter, about HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LIVE HERE?! I just have to remember the caliber of people that surround me. North Dakota, through and through. I volunteered. It was only for about 4 hours. But my body ached, my arms ached and my heart had never been fuller.