Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Made Up Diet (I Mean Life-Style) Change

Being unemployed, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to change my eating habits for the better. I would now have time to cook AND workout if I timed everything correctly. I wasn't too happy with the image that was staring back at me from the mirror recently, and I needed to drop a few pounds, so I decided to diet change my eating habits.

I didn't necessarily want to stick to any plan, count points or calories, that's just WAY too much work for me. I somehow convinced myself that I would eat more fresh foods and supplement it with a breakfast and lunch shake. Which now, really doesn't seem like a good idea, since I'm somewhat lactose intolerant. (Can a person be only somewhat intolerant?) Anyway...I bought carrots, lettuce, zucchini, cucumbers, green beans and corn for vegetables and for fruit I chose red grapes, apples (with fat-free caramel to ease any cravings for sweets. It was, after-all, fat-free. Right?), a couple of big grapefruit-like things called pamelos, and oranges. Oh, and about 10 cups of various flavored yogurts. I spent $150 (which includes some other items) and a day later my family complained that there "was NOTHING to eat!"
Pamelo goodness (and acid)

My master plan was to have a breakfast shake in the morning and a shake at lunch, snack on fruit and vegetables throughout the day, and cook up some chicken dishes for supper. I would get back on my Wii Fit program in the morning, so that I would boost my metabolism (which has been in hibernation since August). It was all theory.

I woke up on Monday, psyched up and ready to get the party started. I got my kids ready and out the door, dropped them off where they needed to be and raced home to have my breakfast shake...after my coffee...aaannd after I check my email, facebook page, studio thirty and job openings. Around 10AM (and 3 cups of coffee later) I was getting a little hungry, so decided to mix up the shake. It didn't taste horrible and I managed to chug down the 8 ounces of chocolaty-dairy goodness. One down.

Next I blew the dust off of my Wii Board and steeled myself for the inevitable. Our family of Mii's (the little cartoon versions of yourself) came running out on the screen. For some reason, we were all now African-Americans with weird hairstyles and facial expressions. Apparently, Kamrin had been playing around again. (I wonder if I need to look this up in a child psychology book?) Oh well, so be it. My first slap in the face was the announcement that it had been 187 days since my last workout. 187 days?! Really? It's been that long? Crap. Then the bouncing little board icon wants to know how heavy my clothes are. I put heavy, -4 lbs. - (HEY! I was wearing jeans and really thick socks for Pete's sake!) Then the weigh-in. I actually closed one of my eyes and looked out through the other as my Twiggy-thin Mii got bigger and bigger. Then I hear the "wah wah wah" (like you guessed the wrong price on the Price Is Right), "that's over-weight," the incredibly annoying child-like voice says. (Why do they make it sound like some sort of 5-year-old female child Japanese cartoon? So you don't haul off and punch it in the face?) My Wii Fit Age was 47. Urgh! Longer story short, I had to reset all my repetitions back down to beginner level and did a bit of yoga, a bit of strength training and a lot of aerobics.

By this time, the breakfast shake had nearly tripled in size in my stomach. I didn't even feel like having grapefruit. By the time I was actually hungry again, it was time for shake #2. After slurping down that concoction, I began to notice eerie half-wolf howl, half-baby screaming noises coming from my abdomen. Uh oh. It was NOT happy. I tried to calm the beast by eating some grapes and snacking on some carrots. I believe this just forced everything in my stomach a bit lower and it was now trying to escape. The story takes a terrible turn for the worse as my insides were rejecting this whole new escapade. It decided to the form of gas. (Too much info, I know!) My kids thought it was hilarious and even the dogs were impressed. My husband? Not so much. But I was determined!! I was going to stick with it.

Day 2. A nearly exact repeat of day 1, except that my Wii told me I had lost .2 lbs! .2? What the...I paused the game, used the bathroom, took off my socks and re-weighed myself and... - .7 lbs! Now that was more like it! My Wii age was 36! Woohoo, turning back the hands of time! My left calf was a bit sore though. More shakes, more fruits and vegetables, more gas. I may never be able to leave the house again. But I'm going to give it my best shot. Maybe I'll have just a tiny handful of crackers. Absorb some acid in my stomach. Yeeaaah, that's it.

Day 3. All the fruit I had eaten in the last few days had given me a raging case of heartburn. I think I'll skip breakfast shake and quit tormenting my husband. Back on the Wii. Weight was up again, and spirits down, my calves burned (even when I wasn't exercising) and I nearly tumbled down the stairs under the weight of a laundry basket when one almost gave out. But hey, my Wii Fit Age was 27! (insert daydreams of being 27 again here, then shake head and come back to reality).

Day 4. Can barely walk my calves hurt so bad. Glare at the Wii and skip it because my body needs time to recover. Skip the shake and dunk a Fudge Stripe cookie in my coffee. *sigh* I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe. Thanks for visiting will power. Come again soon!


  1. You've just described every attempt I've ever made at "changing my eating habits."

  2. At our age, 40 even for me, and plus one for you, eating habits is as vital as exercise to lose or maintain weight. I fail at this a lot. The pamelos look good. I thought pamelos were slang for Pan Anderson's boobs so, the things you learn from blogs.

    Thanks for commenting mine. Yes, I'm using my glasses to read this.

  3. That sounds.... depressing. However, I hear you and because I have been unable to stick to a plan my goal/intention is to workout every single day in the month of March. So that by April I am where I should be if I had started working out in January regularly like I was supposed to. Pathetic! Truly Pathetic!