Thursday, August 11, 2011

Never Fails

Why is it that birthday presents cost six times what you think you're going to pay for them?

My son was invited to a friend's birthday party at Space Aliens. 5:00 - 6:30, the invite said. I mere hour and a half. Which meant I needed to squeeze in a little trip to pick up a birthday present. I usually set my budget according to familiarity. This child was in Kaiden's kindergarten class. After their debut to the school system, they were shipped to different schools. They see each other maybe 3 to 5 times a year for play dates. That makes him a $10-er.

BUT...I have to go to Wal-Mart. That's the only place that makes my time-frame criteria.

I hate Wal-Mart.
Prepare to be drained...

I have to give myself a mental pep-talk, do a few finger push-ups and bring my "A" game. As I enter the store, I only allow myself to pick up the hand-held basket...a cart is just too dangerous and I haven't mastered the will power techniques.

I stroll through the toy section, and I've found it, a Lego set that allows you to build a car and comes with a guy. $9.99. Works. My total comes to $30.02.

What?! How did that happen? Let's do a mental re-check.

Picked out the toy. Since I won't be able to stop anywhere between the store, picking up the boys and the party...I had to buy the bag and tissue paper. (Whoever came up with the idea to ditch wrapping paper and go with a bag..yeah, genius, but don't go all frilly on me! Solid colors, solid colors.) Don't forget the 99¢ card so the kids will know exactly whose thoughtful planning went into the gift.

Oh yeah, had to get a $3.00 Nerf dart gun for my youngest son, because WE'RE GOING TO SPACE ALIENS, and since I'm the one driving both boys, I need an escape plan. Because there is NO WAY I will be able to leave that place with one boy in and one boy out without some sort of bribery scheme in place.
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

Oh, and if Kamrin gets one, Kaiden will have to have one too. I just don't have enough energy this week to deal with the, "It's not fair," and the crying, whining, screaming bout that will happen if they don't each have one. I'm a coward. I know. But Kamrin will sit there and shoot Kaiden in the head point blank the whole time he throws a fit. Guaranteed.
Not what I bought, but it's how he'll use it.

I went in my scrubs. After Ward Care. Which is basically playing with, and cleaning up after, 3 dogs and 5 cats. And did I mention that means we have to take pulse, respiration, and temperature? You have to hold a dog thisclose, and tightly when you're about to stick a thermometer up its butt. Hey, at least they got dinner.
I'd need therapy if I was violated once a day for a week.

So I certainly HAD to have a lint roller. And refills. Two of them. I steeled myself against the Fabreeze spray.

After all that hard work, and the ultra-super-fast trip to the toy section, I'd worked up a thirst, and those little refrigerators at the beginning of the check-out lane looked so cool and I ended up with a Diet Coke.

Defeated again! Curse you, Wal-Mart you unmerciful budget breaker! He's not even that close of a friend!

Damn it. I forgot the dog food.


  1. Ha ha! I hate Wal-Mart too, not because it's a budget buster but because it take 42 hours to buy five things. FIVE THINGS! Why do they have 32 check out lanes and only ever have three open. WHYYYYYYY!!! And I swear the cashiers get paid MORE for going SLOWER.

  2. LMAO. My Tuesday post was on the misery of Wal_Mart. It's a necessary evil around here. it takes forever and I always end up spending more money.

    Visiting from RDC linkup:)

  3. Oh, my goodness! Yesterday I remember saying twice, yes, two times, "I hate Walmart." I went there to buy a toothbrush and toothpaste. As with you, it was down the street and I wasn't stopping anywhere else. A toothbrush. At checkout I wondered why it cost 29.00. Again, salad, veggies for the salad, then there was this and that. I totally relate to your post. I do hope your son had fun at the party! And later at home, I hope neither of them shot you with their handy dandy Nerf dart gun.

    Thanks for sharing your post and fun shopping trip.

  4. I LOVE Walmart - but only because I live on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean!

    When we visit the US I always schedule in a wander up and down the aisles, and as it only happens once every 3 - 4 years I can go for a trolley (shopping cart!) - my limit is the capacity of my suitcase and the excess luggage allowance!!

  5. @Goddess: AND it never fails that if I use the self-checkout, something goes wrong and I have to wait for a cashier anyway!

    @Stacy: Now I have to go read yours! Thanks for visiting!

    @mj: You never know what's around the corner with these boys, had to be on my toes.

    @JanMary: I suppose anything in small doses can be nice.

  6. I'm late reading this but I too loathe the very sight of those huge parking lots, and rolleback prices.
    Walmart is the Daddy of impulse buying! Good luck next time, and thanks for an all too familiar social issue :)