Thursday, December 22, 2011

Facebook Rant

Facebook has become a regular part of my day, as much as I hate to admit it. And, as we all have, I've noticed certain personalities that have emerged because of our online social activities. Some have managed to annoy the crap out of me. Here they are:

1) Those who have to tell you where they are and who they're with...every single second. I think they invented something called Four Square or something like that, which tracks your every move. This is a very handy option for anyone who would love to document your habits, stalk you, and then abduct you in a large shopping parking lot. Just saying, there are a lot of people out there who shouldn't be trusted with that kind of information.

2) Okay, I know the "proper English language" has been flushed down the toilet. But all of the saddens me that people don't know the difference between "there" and "their" or "here" and "hear" or even "too" and either "two or too". Call me old school.

3) Every one has a bad day. I understand complaining about your boss, your boyfriend, the bad service you had at your favorite restaurant. But really? You can't find one thing to be happy about? You're bringing me down man, every day you complain about something. It must really suck to be you. Or at least that's the image you want to portray.

4) How about the people who need feedback to survive? I really think that you're striving for a world record of some sort to see how many comments you can get when your status reads, "OMG, I can't believe I survived!" Tell us already! I'm not going to go back and check every 10 minutes so I can have closure on whether you were hit by a car, or whether you sneaked by having 11 items in the Wal-Mart express line instead of 10. It's not that important to me (unless you WERE hit by a car, at which point I'm guessing you're not updating your Facebook status.)

5) How about the person who "Likes" everything? I think maybe you're just short on time, and you're trying to let me know that you checked out my latest photo or status, because you don't have time to comment, but you like what I have. It's kind of the cyber graffiti saying "I was here." Thank you.

6) In the same sense, I have people who will NEVER comment or like anything I have posted, but when I see you face-to-face you will stop me mid-story to let me know, that yes, you already read that on Facebook. Fine. Well now I feel stupid.

7) The abbreviator: kind of like the person who hits the "like" button all the time, only in acronym. You will LOL or LMAO at everything! I don't even know what some of those abbreviations mean! You may be sending a completely misinterpreted message. No kidding, I'm old. I have to Google abbreviations. My kid thinks LOL means "Lots of Love." Just saying.

8) I'm not sure how I feel about status shuffle. I think a lot of what they say is great, but does that mean you're just too lazy too think of your own status? And if you rely on a second source to come up with a status, maybe you shouldn't say anything at all. It's the Hallmark card of status posts.

9) I'll admit, the first thing I do when someone requests to be my friend, I check out their page before I accept. If you have like 4,358 friends...I don't need to be another notch in your belt. Pretty sure you can't keep up. Who are you friending? Do you really care? Good Lord. It's not homecoming queen all over again, trust me.

10) The people who tell me every. song. they. listened. to. in the last half hour. Stop it. I don't care. When I want to see what my friends are up to, I don't need to feel like I'm sharing an ear bud with you. Your tastes in music are completely different than mine, I'm NOT going to click on the video, stop hogging my update page room. If I want to know what you're listening to, I'll go to the bar with you.

11) Stop posting "duck face (pursing your lips into a kissy face)" pictures every time you go out to the bar with your friends. As much as you think you're being sexy, you're not. And really, I just think you're a drunk, because I know you have 2+ kids, yet you're at the bar every least according to your Facebook pictures.

12) I really don't need to have you tell me goodnight or good morning every day. I'm not living with you.

13) I admire faith or lack thereof in our political system or your religious views, but please don't shove them down my throat.

14) The whole kid/puppy/kitten pictures with some sort of quip? Funny the first time, but not 30 links later. I'm happy that you have time to read every one of someone's posted pictures, but I don't need to be in on it.

15) Arguing with your ex/sibling/parent/boyfriend/spouse...whatever. This is NOT something to take public. Are you just looking for people to take sides?! This is a PERSONAL problem, keep it personal. Be a grown up here. This is like having a fight right in the middle of the most crowded restaurant with everyone listening to you. People will judge, and not for the better.  Take it outside.

I love Facebook. It has allowed me to stay connected with people that I would never have been able to before. But I think some things have gotten out of hand. And I admit, I'm guilty of more that one of these things myself. If their was a category called, "People who always post things about what their kids say," I'm totally guilty.

But I needed to get that off of my chest. And it's the end of finals week, maybe I just need to let off some steam.  Let me know what YOU hate about Facebook.


  1. The only thing I hate about Facebook is that I have no idea how it works, and trying to work it out just makes me feel stupid. A good friend moved house and I missed the whole thing - BBQ and all.

    Meanwhile, thanks again for your sense of humour, and keep enjoying your kids!

    A happy and safe holiday season to you, yours, and all your readers.

  2. I might be the guilty LIKER - it IS easier sometimes....
    Facebook shouldn't be for people who are prettier, have bigger houses, go on vacations, whose kids are straight A students, who get to stay at home with their kids....