Monday, April 4, 2011

You Do What You Have To Do

This week I started a part-time job at Kohl's, which is an entire blog post in and of itself and will come later, I promise. My husband has shown amazing understanding and capability I hadn't really given him credit for in the past, as we shuffle his schedule to accommodate mine and the kids. I think due to my own control issues, I just haven't given him the opportunity (I don't think that's the word he would use), to exercise his talents in handling the kids on his own. I haven't entirely let go either, as I call every 15 minute break I get to ask how things are going, remind him what Kaiden has for homework, tell him to put the wet snowpants/hat/gloves/boots in the dryer for school the following morning and to make sure hubby stops by the DMV to renew his vehicle tags. Yep, loosening that acting head of household noose grip has not been easy.

But...we did have plenty that I was witness to this week, so let's get started.

When I have a captive audience (in the car, on the way to / from daycare), I try to engage the children in conversation so that I don't look like a complete idiot at parent/teacher conferences, like the fact that Kaiden has managed to eat breakfast at home AND at school. Apparently, instead of heading to the playground after de-boarding the bus, he grabs some grub. During this particular car ride, I decided to focus my attention on Kaiden (since a review mirror glance reveled Kamrin's half-closed eyes and slightly bobbing head.) Kaiden was explaining that they would not be having pajama/movie day on Friday, because they failed to get four stars (mental note: ask teacher about stars). I replied, "Well that's a bummer," to which Kamrin snapped to attention and loudly said, "Plumber? Where's a plumber?"

Kamrin has matured to a new reaction to anything he feels is "unfair" or sends him into a fit of stomping feet, a slammed bedroom door, the flinging of a tiny body on his little bed and a muted, but yet strangely audible, "I don't love you mom and dad....EVER!" He now retaliates by throwing his prize possessions (like his blankie) in the garbage.
Umm, ick. Into the wash!

When they are eventually found, he claims that, we made him do it. I don't understand this concept. Let me get this straight. He's unhappy because he is being disciplined for something, and yet wants to torture himself further by discarding that which is near and dear to him? Is this so that he can somehow shift the blame of his bad behavior from himself to his parents? Hmmm. Interesting twist. One afternoon, the boys wanted to play a video game but the controllers were nowhere to be found. I searched, Shawn searched, even the boys searched. I asked them to think back to the last time they played and to retrace their steps. When it became apparent, after comparing kid/dad stories, that the last game session ended with a disagreement and was shut off mid-game, I had an idea where to look. The controllers were then retrieved from the bathroom garbage. Kam claims it was an "ak-i-dent." Uh huh.

His second tension releaser at least puts his creative talents to use. He will draw a picture of all four of us, (or six if he includes the dogs), and then will deliberately put a large, red, cherry-scented-marker 'X' through those of us he is currently upset with. Is this a toddler hit list? It may come out in therapy one day.

Speaking of video games, I feel a weird combination of amazement and disgust at the gaming ability of my 4-year-old. He intuitively is able to beat each level (lebbel in toddler-speak) in half the time that it takes an adult. Now if this were something he could make a living at and NOT end up as an unshaven, 40-year-old, Cheeto-eating, socially inadequate adult living in my basement, then more power to him. I just don't see that happening. I moved the device into our bedroom, hoping to deter them from playing very often. Didn't work. Kamrin stood on the bed, eyes wide and unblinking, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth when Shawn walked in. Without a head-turn of acknowledgement, he says, "Watch and learn, Dad, watch and learn." He needs to be unplugged.

Due to the random hours I am required to work, I did miss out on a few things. Kaiden lost his 6th tooth and now wears the coming of age, front-toothed gapped smile of most kids his age. Unlike ALL the other five teeth (ahem, Shawn), he actually pulled this one out himself.
For some reason, he never seems to be able to keep his shirt on.

The tooth fairy left him his loot and a note thanking him for the tooth and a reminder to brush his teeth (hey, if it doesn't come from me, maybe he'll take it to heart). She also attempted to leave a lipstick kiss mark, but happened to be wearing a too dark shade of lipstick and it looked more like she dragged her little pixie butt across the side of the card.

Both kids now have temporary tattoos. Kaiden has a large fire-breathing dragon on the inside of his arm, from wrist to elbow. Kamrin opted for something a bit his armpit.

For cleaning their rooms, making their beds and vacuuming, the kids each got $2 and "won" a trip to Toys-R-Us with dad to pick something out. As per the norm, Kaiden got what he wanted, and then used his Vulcan mind bending rays (or something...) and convinced Kamrin to use his money to ALSO buy something Kaiden wanted. Dad has not been exposed to this trick often enough to recognize and put a stop to it. He's still a newbie.

In an attempt to gain a little extra sleep, I ignored my cell phone's urgent beeping Sunday morning until Kamrin brought it in to me. The text message from my mother read, "Kam, I'm in church. You can call Grammie later." Maybe having my mom on speed dial is not the best idea.

Here's a picture to prove that the two of them aren't ALWAYS at each others throats. A single snapshot of peace.
Kaiden is reading a book to him.

1 comment:

  1. Love it - you capture the essence of motherhood perfectly. Like it can be bottled up and sprayed on anyone else in charge?? I think not, just doesn't quite have the same smell on someone different, does it?