Friday, November 12, 2010

Celebrate the Differences

They say that a mother should never love one child more than the other. I believe that's true. I love my boys equally, just for very different reasons.

Kaiden was the most beautiful baby when he was born. I thought he was perfect in every way, as most first time mothers will tell you. He was a happy baby. He had our full attention. Kamrin came along, and I learned that love didn't have to be halved, it just doubled. Be he was so different from Kaiden from the beginning. He was colicky. Where Kaiden had slept through the night, Kam was up several times. Kamrin wouldn't give up his bottle, Kaiden could care less. But Kaiden still has a security blanket, and Kamrin has no need for one.

At this age, Kamrin's biggest goal in life is to be just like his older brother, but as much as he tries, his personality just won't let him. Oh he'll do his best to mimic what he says and what he does, but that inner part of him just reaches out and takes over.

Kaiden is somewhat shy. He loves new people, but it takes a good 10 minutes to warm up to someone. He tends to use his little brother as a human shield when he wants to do something he isn't comfortable with. He meets new people by pushing Kamrin out ahead of him, because Kam says "hi" to everyone, and I mean everyone! Kamrin's question to all he meets is, "What's your name?" and he is under the assumption that anyone who answers him, loves him. While trick-or-treating this year, Kamrin would go up, ring the bell, say trick-or-treat and then ask what their name was. Upon getting his candy, and them telling him their name, he would say thank you, and, "Bye Bob!" (or whatever that person's name was) and then he'd tell me, "Him loves me."

Kaiden can play for hours by himself. He loves toy cars, action figures, dinosaurs and all he can imagine they do. Kamrin doesn't have a whole lot of interest in toys. He would much rather take something apart to see how it works, flip switches and push buttons.

Kaiden is ultra sensitive (I hope this is a stage). He'll be the first to cry at sad parts in a movie (along with mom). One perceived negative sentence and the boy's face crumples into tears as he stomps off to his room telling me to "leave him alone." And when I do, then I, "don't love him any more." Kam is carefree and approaches life with wild abandon. He can be mad one minute, but the next, scrambling into your lap and saying, "My love you." He tosses those My Love You's around a lot ("My," meaning "I"). I think he's told a convenience store clerk, a neighbor, and a strange dog that in the past week. One time, Kamrin was bothering dad with the fly-swatter and after telling him to stop several times, Shawn flicked him on the head. Kamrin crinkled his brow and simply said, "Well that sucks."

Kaiden loved baseball this past summer, couldn't get enough. While he practiced batting, Kam sat on the grass behind him and picked dandelions.

Kaiden likes country music, Kamrin's favorite song since at an early age was, "Don't Fear the Reaper."

I have a piano in my living room, Kaiden will pound on it and sing loudly and off-key. One day, Kamrin asked if I wanted to hear a song and when I said yes, that kid sat at the piano and swear to God, played a crooked little tune. Moved his little fingers gently up and down the keys and sang in a quiet whisper-voice and when through, told me that was his "sad song."

Kamrin has an inner intelligence. There's just something behind those eyes that lets me know that he understands a lot more than he lets on. He has "street smarts" and he isn't afraid to manipulate Shawn and I with it. Kaiden is a bright kid too, he just has to be taught and then he catches on like wildfire and makes the connections.

The physical differences too: Kamrin is blonde, with whispy-wild hair that goes in every direction. Kaiden has dark thick hair that he perfectly combs every morning. Kamrin has this closed-lipped smile that melts your heart while Kaiden has a big wide grin that makes his eyes sparkle. Kamrin has such delicate bone structure that I can touch my thumb with my index finger around his forearm. He often says, "My tiny." Kaiden is built like his dad, thick boned and a solid little guy.

Despite, and because of these differences, these boys make my world complete. And more often than not, when Kamrin says, "My love you, Kaiden." I hear, "I love you too, Little Man." What more could I ask for?

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