Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sheep and Weapons of Destruction

I know Shawn has always wished we could have a girl. He'll never say that out loud, but I know this for a fact. He was born the youngest of six boys, and I suppose that he has always wanted a Daddy's Little Girl. As for me, I love having boys. I've never been much of a girly-girl myself, so I'm just not sure that I would have made a little girl very happy. I don't like to shop (much to my mother's dismay), I don't really like to play dress-up or have tea parties, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been any fun at all. I know that when I'm older, I will probably have wished we would have tried one more time for a girl. Girls are just better communicators. Who's going to call me up just to chat? Or ask me for advice? Or remember to send me a card on my birthday? I just hope my boys find a girl out there who will make an effort to remind them to do those things when the time comes.

There are so many differences between having boys and having girls.We have a neighbor across the street who has a little girl who is about Kaiden's age. She's loves to come over to play and we love having her over. Problem is, about 10 minutes into the play date, Kaiden will come over to me and whisper, "Moo-ooom. She doesn't want to do anything fun!" The boys' idea of fun is playing in the dirt, shooting each other with toy guns, or any type of game that involves running, yelling and tackling someone. I guess she's just not into that sort of stuff.

There are some boy games I'm good at, and a lot I'm not. That's why I'm so glad that Shawn is not too distant from his inner child (and I mean they are very close!) I tried to play "guys" with them once, you know, the GI Joes, or the WWE wrestling guys. I walked my guy over to Kaiden's guy and in my deepest voice said, "Hi guy." Shawn about had a fit. "What?! You don't walk over and say, 'hi guy'! Are you crazy?" Apparently the protocol is to walk your guy over, and even if you don't know him, you beat the crap out of the other guy. Who knew? I am banned from playing guys.

Boys are restless. They don't sit for long periods of time, at least mine don't. Long car rides are especially difficult. The only advantage to having boys vs. girls when taking a long trip is you can stop anywhere to pee. I just have to remember to face them down-wind and downhill. I learned that one the hard way. My boys even consider the 15 minute car ride from our house to the bus stop/daycare in the morning, "a long ride." Consequently, I have used some of the tried-and-true games that I did as a kid. One of those is a game called "Rock, Paper, Scissors." I'm sure you all know how it goes. Well, the three of us were playing it one morning on our daily commute. "Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" we say together. I say, "I have rock." (I always go first to give them a chance to beat me, since I'm in the front seat and can't see what they have.) Kaiden shouts, "I have paper!" And after a split second pause, Kamrin says, "I have gun!" Well, who can beat gun? I nearly wet my pants laughing so hard. So after that incident, the game has now evolved into "Rock, Paper, Weapons of Destruction.' We basically get to make up any type of weapon we want and we try to figure out how it beats the others. Let's see you do that with a girl!

Kamrin is finally coming to the age where he can actually participate in these games. I-Spy was a bit painful when it was Kamrin's turn, "I spy, with my whittle eye, sumpin'.....that's a.....truck!"

We also have a game we that we have just dubbed, "Animal Sounds." It's a lot like I Spy, except a person makes an animal sound, and you try to guess what it is. (I had them completely stumped when I chose a turtle once!) So I had my turn and made a hooting noise like an owl. Easy. Kaiden's was a bit harder, because I thought it was a mouse. Turns out it was a bat. So now, I need to explain this to Kamrin so he doesn't give it away. "Kamrin," I say, "Remember, just make an animal sound and we'll guess what it is." He pauses for a bit, and after some thought, he says, "Sheeeep. Sheeeep."

Even though my bathroom will never be the same, my house is never quiet, passing gas and burping will always be hilarious, and having pants without holes in the knees is a miracle, I'm quite content with boys. And I'm quite sure that, although Shawn may never stop wondering what having a girl would be like, he's going to really have some great little buddies as they keep growing. I can't say that I'm not a little jealous.

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