My husband Shawn doesn't share the same idea about going to church as I do. I have to be honest, I don't always enjoy it. Mostly because trying to keep two boys quiet is nearly impossible. We need an entire pew to ourselves. We have to have room for coloring, for sliding back and forth on the wooden surface, and of course room for any dry cereal in a ziplock (which is the standard staple so we don't "starve" in church). My boys do not know the definition of the word, 'whisper.' The part they love is wishing everyone a good morning and shaking their hand, which continues well into the first hymn much to the dismay of fellow worshipers (okay, not all). I spend most of my time, trying to keep them quiet, pulling them out from under the pew in front of us, and trying to keep their mess from spreading too far.
I had to give up. What was the point of being in church if I didn't hear the sermon, wasn't able to sing the hymns, and left feeling like I needed to be absolved of all the sinful thoughts I was having two seconds after church service was over? Now that they both need to go to Sunday school, I get there just in time for donuts (how else to I bribe them?) and to see them off to their classes. I then sit through 45 minutes of bible study and then take them home. I have to make a second trip to the church during the week for their alternative service so I can go alone. Ah, the sacrifices we make as mothers!
It wasn't always this bad. I've learned that the older the boys get, the more they feed off of one another. Bad moods escalate and a fit of giggles is uncontrollable. I used to be able to just take Kaiden. Yeah, he had his moments of misbehaving, but overall, he was tolerable.
The reason I'm bringing this up is one of my favorite memories of a "Kaiden-ism" is at a church service at the age of about 4. He had been good for most of the hour, but was starting to get restless. He kept asking if it was over yet. In order to try and keep him occupied, I handed him the envelope with our offering in it. The conversation went a little like this:
Me: Here, you can hold this and then put it in the offering plate.
Kaiden: What is it?
Me: Our offering.
Kaiden: What's an offering?
Me: (for lack of patience and explanation) It's money for God.
We sat there for a moment, and the usher came to our pew and held out the plate. Kaiden's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened as he looked at the plate and then the usher. He turns to me and says in a loud stage whisper,
"Mommy! Is that God?"
I'm pretty sure there were several rows of shaking shoulders.
That one brings a smile to my face every time I think of innocent and literal way a 4 year old thinks.